


The Monster Inside

by Katharine7055



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: POV Skye | Daisy Johnson, Skye | Daisy Johnson Feels, Skye | Daisy Johnson-centric, daisy - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-21
Updated: 2017-01-20
Packaged: 2018-09-18 21:38:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9403937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katharine7055/pseuds/Katharine7055
Summary: When Skye returns home after being under HIVES influence she believes she is safe at first, then she finds out the worst monster of all has followed her home.





	1. The Monster Inside

I had come home. I'm safe. Hive has left my mind, I'm safe from everything. Except my own mind.

Before.

I’m not the same. When I got my powers I thought I was a monster, I thought I had become an abomination a creature of pain and death. The force inside me...it was so uncontrollable...so raw I couldn't comprehend what was happening. it felt like noise inside my brain all the time, only I could feel it vibrating against my skull as well. I scared myself and I knew I would scare everyone else, I’m a monster. When Fitz found out he was terrified of me, when the team found out... they needed to be protected. from me. I couldn’t control it, it controlled me by fear and pain, and trust me I had plenty of that.

Then.

I accepted what I had become. I was stronger now, stronger than I had ever been! I could take down any enemy and move any mountain. I’m unstoppable. I could protect the people I loved, I was no longer a weak child who hacked her way through life. my powers were strong and so beautiful. the noise, the vibrating became bearable and after a while I could no longer hear it and all I felt was a soft hum inside me. That hum reminded me of what I could do, it reminded me of what I was. I was an Inhuman. I wore the title with pride, that title gave me a purpose in life. It gave me safety and love. I was part of something, something bigger than SHIELD, bigger than me. I was Inhuman.

Now.

I don’t think I’m a monster, I know I’m a monster. I’m not strong, I’m swayable. My powers aren’t beautiful, there’re disgusting. I’m disgusting. I hurt everyone I love, I became what I fear and I liked it. That’s what makes me sick, I liked it. When I think about it my stomach does backflips and I want to vomit. I make myself sick. I can’t imagine what everyone else thinks of me. I want to leave. I can’t be in the presence of the people that I hurt. They must think I’m a monster, and their right. I am. I turned my team of Inhuman’s against each other. I lied to them. I ruined the base. I hurt Phil. I manipulated Lincoln. I chocked Fitz. I worked with grant ward. I Almost killed Mack, the worst part is if May hadn’t shot me I think I may have killed him. I twisted everything I knew and threw it in their face, I threw the trust they had in me in their face.

The memories and thoughts plague me; I don’t want to close my eyes. I’m nervous and fidgety and I can’t think straight, Simmons says it’s just the withdrawal symptoms. My team- no. I’m not part of the team anymore, I threw that away when I joined HIVE....The team is afraid of me still, I may be in the med bay and the doors may be unlocked but I know that they are watching me on the cameras ready to put me down if needed. I don’t blame them.

My hands start to shake uncontrollably and bile rises in my throat making me want to puke.

"not again" I whisper to myself,

I start feeling an immense pressure in my arms and the noise in my head starts and its louder than ever, my head pounds as it vibrates against me. This isn’t even the worst of it, this time I see pictures, flashes in my head. I don’t only see everything, I hear every word, I feel every emotion and I feel all the pain.

_I’m hiding in the bathroom of the playground, Ward is outside and I know he’s hydra, and I know he’s going to kill me. I bring my knees up to my chest, trying so hard to block it all out, block out the fear, stop my stomach from twisting and turning. this feeling, its true soul crushing fear._

_Fitz, he’s telling me that I’m Inhuman, that there’s something wrong with me, the buzzing in my head gets louder and louder. The vibrating in my skull gets so intense it hurts, I grab my head trying to make it stop, Fitz keeps talking but I can’t hear him, the buzzing is so intense I can’t control it. The lamp behind me explodes "no!" I scream and when I look up I see Fitz run for his life, run away from me._

I throw my legs over the side of the bed and grab my head, I can feel the vibrating and I don’t know if I can control it. I’m so weak. The blood loss is still affecting me, the tube that is in my arm pumping more blood into my system pulls when I move my hands to my head, it hurts but not quite as much as the buzzing against my skull.

_My mother is holding me, she’s sucking the life out of me, I’m so weak. My skin has turned gray and I fall to my knees, my legs can’t even hold me. I try to raise my arm and blast her but I can’t. I’m dying and my mother is the one killing me._

I fall forward, all strength from inside me is gone. The tube gets ripped out of my arm and I can’t move. I’m helpless as I lay on the med bay floor. I’m dying. I’m so weak I can barely move my arm, and when I try all I feel is intense pain. The room starts to shake and I have no power to stop it. Every fiber in my body hurts and all I can do is cry.

_My arm is outstretched and I feel the familiar release of the buzzing noise when I use my powers, I can hear Fitz struggle for air as I strangle him with my powers. "stay away! We don’t want to hurt you...any of you but we will, this is your last warning! Next time I snap your next" I twist my hand making the grip on his neck even tighter before I let go and watch as he falls to the ground gasping for air._

I feel worthless, I can move now but what’s the point. I’m such a monster that I would try to kill my friend. I look up to see an icer on the bench in the lab, all I have to do is get there. The shaking of the room becomes more and more intense and my arms start to hurt a lot when I try to stop it. Slowly I crawl towards the door, the shaking continues and my arms hurt even more, my ribs even begin to hurt. Getting to the door I reach up and unlock it, automatically the door opens.

_I hear myself screaming, Mack is screaming as well. I’m standing over him, his face is bloody and bruised and I’m blasting his chest, I hear the sound of one of his ribs crack but I continue to blast him. His screaming becomes even louder and so dose mine. I intend to kill him, but not instantly, I want to send a message to SHIELD that reads stay away. I increase the strength of my blast and I hear two more ribs crack. As I’m about to finish him off I get thrown off of him and a pain so intense runs down my arm and spreads through my chest, I’ve been shot._

I scream so loudly, the pain is so strong, the room shakes even more now. My entire right side is in agony, I grab my arm to try and make the pain go away. I’m determined to get that icer! I Crawl towards the bench the pain doesn’t subside. Screaming again the room shakes even more and things start to fall. The sound pieces my ears, it’s so loud I want to cover them but I can’t.

_It feels as if time has stopped and I can no longer move or feel anything except the excruciating pain in my stomach, I stumble back a bit. Looking down at my hand I feel a warm liquid flow through my fingers, red and sticky. its blood. I look up at Quinn, I’m confused and scared. The breath catches in my throat I can’t breathe I’m in so much pain now. He takes two long strides towards me, he holds me close hushing me. I choke on the blood that rises to my mouth. I hear another loud noise as he shoots me again, the pain is so great my mind has stopped working, time feels like its slowed. He places me on the ground. Choking on my own blood I black out because my body can no longer handle the pain._

I scream so loud it hurts my ears, I can feel it all! except this time I don’t black out, I continue to feel it all. I clutch my side so hard it hurts; my nails dig into the skin but it doesn’t stop. I can feel the lumps where the scars are, I rip my shirt scratching at my skin. I need the pain to stop, it has to stop. The room shakes so much tables start to fall over and the icer falls down next to me, I pick it up. this is the only thing that will make my pain go away.

"Daisy!" I hear Lincoln yell my name, the tears run down my face, I still feel it, it hurts so much! I see everyone behind him Coulson, May, Fitz, Simmons and even Mack. I pick up the icer and for a second the expression on Simmons face changes to fear, fear that I will hurt her. I don’t blame her, if I was her I would shoot me on the spot. May understands though, she knows what I’m going to do.

"Daisy no! Please" she rushes towards me but it’s too late I raise my arm and aim the gun at my head. I pull the trigger and everything goes black.


	2. Withdrawal

My head feel's heavy and like my brain is like soup, but hell does my head hurt. Slowly I try to sit up but a wave of nausea hits and I fall back down hitting my head against my pillow. Closing my eyes, I let the darkness engulf me, cutting me off from the rest of the world, I want to pretend like I don't exist. Taking a deep breath, I try to sit up again. I feel my head pulse, boom boom boom, against my skull. I can feel the exact spot I shot myself, right on my temple. A little voice in the back of my head wanted to die, hoped that it wouldn't only knock me out but also end it all. Finally, my eyes focus and I realize I'm not in the little med bay I was in before, I'm in a cell, a cell for an Inhuman. I'm dangerous and they know it, maybe if I get out of hand they will put me down like a wild animal, like the monster that I am.

Slowly the booming in my head subsides and I'm able to see a lot clearer as the black spots in my vision fade, still I let my head droop forwards as I stare at my hands. Sounds silly but my hands have changed a lot since I joined S.H.I.E.L.D.

When I lived in my van I had hard clauses on my finger tips from years of non-stop typing at my computer, I still have them however now I have more spread all over my palms, mostly from guns. My knuckles are almost always red and sore nowadays from the constant training I put myself through. My eyes wonder from my palms to my wrist and up my forearms, they are slightly discolored and have a blue-green tinge to them. Quizzically I furrow my brows in confusion, I don't remember them looking like this. Slowly I life my left arm and poke my right forearm, instantly I regret it and wince in pain.

"I wouldn't do that, you hurt yourself pretty bad"

The voice startles me so much that I yelp and practically jump out the bed, when I do my whole body complains and urges me to return to the bed. I lay with my back against the wall, I know I recognize that voice, and if I'm honest with myself it's the last person I would expect to visit me. Mack.

I don't even look at him, I can't bare the shame, I don't want to see what I've done to him. He was my partner and I tried to kill him, honestly the worst part is that I remember thinking how much I wanted this man to suffer, all the things I could do to kill him painfully and slowly. I wanted him dead. I can feel his presence, I so badly wish he would leave, but then again, I deserve to be tortured for what I have done. So, I look up. My eyes run over every part of him, his arm in a sling and black-blue bruises everywhere. I can feel the tears well up in my eyes but I refuse to let them fall.

"tremors-"

"NO!"

I scream at him, my voice wavers as I start to shake uncontrollably, why is he calling me that? I don't deserve it. The love, kindness and friendship behind that word should never be used on trash like me. The way he looks at me makes me sick, he has so much love in his eyes, just like a big brother. He looks startled from my outburst however he quickly recovers. I continue to shake, a cold sweat bead on my forehead. My stomach twists and turns until I can't take it anymore, I throw myself across the room to the trash and the contents of my stomach fills the bin. I look up just in time to see Mack race out the viewing room, leaving me alone shaking on the floor. Slowly I curl into the fetal position on the cold tile, I close my eyes and sob. I cry for what feels like hours, I can feel the wound on my shoulder stretch each time a sob rips through me. Maybe an hour later…or five minutes, I lost track of time. Bang bang bang catches my attention.

"Skye!"

It sounds so far away, I look up to see that Mack has returned however this time Simmons and May have joined him. Are they here to finally put me out of my misery? Simmons is the one banging on the window and yelling my old name, she finally gives up and enters the room. She puts her hands up and slowly walks towards me like I'm a caged animal. I back up.

"I don't want to hurt you, please"

I'm so scared that I will, I'm terrified that I have lost all my control. Simmons turns and has a whispered convocation with May, slowly May comes closer to me even though I beg her to stop.

"Daisy, you won't hurt me. You're suffering from withdrawal symptoms."

It kind of makes sense, I mean I was addicted to the feeling I got when I was around him it felt like I was on drugs, I felt so happy no matter what I was doing…even if I was killing my friends. All I want is for it to stop, no no that's not right…I need it to stop.

I look up at Simmons and May, tears blur my vision and I can't take the pain all the pressure that is building up in my arms is causing. I can't take it.

"please"

May's face is the last thing I see before I black out, and the last thing I hear is Simmons gasp as the bones in my arms shatter.


End file.
